Watching CNN this morning, I was finding myself crushing major on Dr. Sanjay Gupta. And, considering my track record with crushes on newsmen who I later discover are gay, I immediately googled him. According to nndb, he is straight! Not that it matters-- I'm married anyway, and I still love Shep and Coop, but what I'm saying is *I* am not only attracted to gay men! Which makes me feel better about life in general, if you know what I mean.
[To my husband: Sorry, honey. I never doubted you for a minute. Not even when you went through your tap-dancing-and-singing-showtunes phase. I knew. Inside you were all man.]
Because of my recent blog post about Gi Boooonchen and her womanly perkiness, h sent me a tip about bras. See? The information superhighway is finally being used for the important stuff. I love it.
h says get a Wacoal bra for maximum perk, and she sent these pictures. I'm liking the black one. It is called "The Lost in Lace Contour Bra." Sigh.. I want to be lost in lace, too.
So I went to the Wacoal-Amercia website and found their store locator, which has you enter your zip code and defaults to finding a store within 75 miles of you. 75 miles! Most of these locator things default to 15 or 20 miles, but apparently Wacoal America is confident that you will travel thrice as far for their particular type of perk. My options for stores are Neiman Marcus, Nordstrom, Macy's, Lord and Taylor, Bloomingdales and Saks Fifth Ave.
Apparently I'm going to need a part time job to support my new bra habit.
But I will persevere.
I hereby pledge to endeavor a quest for this bra, set down my adventures in lyric poetry, and travel they countryside with my zither, recounting the tale.
Update (Part I of the Epic Saga):
Get a free fitting for a Wacoal Bra and Wacoal will donate $2 to the Susan G. Komen for the Cure breast cancer research and outreach programs. If you buy a bra, they donate another $2. And they'll give you a nifty Republic of Tea travel tin with Pink Lemonade green tea. Click here to find a fitting event near you.
"Paris Hilton quickly apologized yesterday for calling her one-time BFF Kim Kardashian’s B-List booty 'cottage cheese inside a big trash bag' on a Las Vegas radio station." (See rest of article by clicking link above.)
Remember, Patriots fans: It is not (or no longer) acceptable to hate Gi because she is beautiful. She's with Tom, and he's with us. So by the transitive property, she's with us:
a=b; b=c; therefore a=c Q.E.D.
It seems the gals at the Inside Track finally got the memo. Here is a complimentary article: "Tom and Gi and Baby Makes Three."
"The supermodel is holding the binky-sucking baby - quite expertly we might add - as Bridget’s nanny waits behind the wheel to take John home to mommy."
Now that I've gotten over my butt-hair-face-envy and adopted Gi as my BFF, do you suppose she'd tell me where she got that bra? She's looking especially perky in this picture, isn't she? The Gillian O'Malley ones I get at Target-- the elastic seems to throw in the towel within the first 20 minutes. Do you suppose SuperNonTiringElastic made from super-springy rubber harvested from sustainable rainforests in Australiasia is the "secret" in Victoria's Secret? (Is this the big blog-scoop I've been waiting for?)
Photos from Boston Herald Inside Track column, they credit flynetonline.com
If you have a few minutes, watch the entire Larry King podcast with Colbert on CNN.com. Stephen plays it so sublimely deadpan, Larry has no idea how to deal with it.
"I'm anti-polygamy and pro-fascism, Larry. Is that so hard to understand?"
Now I'm mad. Click here. (But read comments first.)
For some reason it won't let me link directly (dagnabbit), so you'll have to scroll down and choose the video about Tom entitled "Gosh, he's exciting." Warning: TMZ starts playing a list of videos as soon as you land on their site, while you're scrolling and looking for Tom Brady. Some of them are R rated and fuzzed out, so use caution.
Get your Playmobil Security Checkpoint today!! You've gotta go read the customer reviews at Amazon.com.
"I hear Playmobil is coming out with a waterboarding torture set. I think I'll wait for that and buy them together to save on shipping." -M.Swift (Amazon customer reviewer)
"While I'm sure your child will love this do we really want to reveal our security secrets to the terrorists? I bet al-Qaeda is training the next generation with this very product. I am saddened to learn that Playmobile hates America." -T.Phillabaum (Amazon customer)
"Quandary: Do you think that if I carried my child's Playmobil Checkpoint through an actual security checkpoint, I could travel through time?" - P.Wenzel (Hill Valley, CA, in the year 1985.)
"At first it looked as though my Playmobil terrorist cell was going have trouble getting through this security system - no naked flames, sharp objects, guns or bombs. Then I bought the Tobacco Lobbyist upgrade pack which allowed cigarette lighters to be carried through so they simply torched the plane instead. Hours of fun for all the family." - R.Dobson (Amazon UK customer)
You know, I enjoy a good steak as much as the next person. Okay, maybe I enjoy a good steak more than the next person. I mean, look at this: Mr. MindYourOwnReality's birthday dinner last weekend. Filet mignon, grilled medium rare atop garlic mashed potatoes and capped with steamed asparagus and a smoooooth bernaise. Ahhh.
Yum, right? Go ahead, click the picture--get a closeup. You can almost smell it.
Then somebody sends me this video (I know it's long, but holy smokes you've gotta see this):
Wait for it. Watch the whole thing. Okay, if you're really in a hurry you can watch the first few minutes then slide the bottom bar thingy ahead to see the finished product. Got it? Okay, read on...
Did you see that?! The elephant can paint. And not only can the elephant paint, but the elephant can paint AN ELEPHANT. Okay, okay, let's assume someone trained the elephant to paint an elephant. Let's assume (let's hope, even) that the beast didn't just whip that up the first time it had access to a brush. But even if it is trained to do that, doesn't that show a pachydermal-cognizance you didn't know existed? I know, I know, what's that got to do with steak? We don't eat elephants-- but they do in Bangkok-- there it's considered to improve sexual performance (must be somethin' about trunk-strength). And isn't the Thai people's taste for elephant just as arbitrary as our taste for the cow-- an animal which is sacred to Hindus? I mean, go with me here. There are people in the world who can't believe we eat cow. We find it repugnant that some in China eat dogs. But if a dog painted a self portrait, they'd probably stop, right? And they certainly wouldn't eat Faith the Biped Dog-- would they?
So what does this mean? I'm a confusedavore. A guiltitarian. I looooove the steak, but... What if I'm eating a potential Vincent VanCow? Pablo Piccata-so? Georgia O'Beef? Could we be surprised at bovine abilities if we only gave them a chance? Do we want to open that can of worms? Or--if we gave them a can opener, do you think they could open it themselves???
I think I'm prepared to draw a line in the sand. If anyone posts a YouTube video of a cow doing a self portrait, I'll stop eating them. But so far, I searched YouTube for cow videos and all I found was this:
Hmm. If intelligence is the key factor, maybe they should eat us.
Huzzah! I made it! Ming's even cuter up close Oh- the food's good, too.
As you may know I've been dreaming for a long time-- at least since last September-- of going to the adorable Ming Tsai's fabulous Blue Ginger. I finally got to go last night and I've gotta tell ya, it was every bit as wonderful as I dreamed it would be: the blue pearl granite counter, the feng shui hoosiewatsis, the disposable towels in the washroom that have a higher threadcount than my non-disposables at home, the waiters whom you should probably address as "sir" because they make three times as much as you do... It's like a pleasure-and-pain-a-thon, an I'm-so-not-worthy, gimme-another -shumai-but-make-me-bark-like-a-dog-for-it thing. (I'm not going to like what the search engine brings me there, but I'm goin' with it.)
If you go, three strong recommendations:
1.) Foie Gras-Shiitake Shumai in Sauternes-Shallot Broth - like BUTTAH 2.) Sake-Miso Marinated Alaskan Butterfish with Wasabi Oil, Soy-Lime Syrup and Vegetarian Soba Noodle Sushi - like SHUMAI (in that it's like BUTTAH, that is.) 3.) Make a reservation! Like- well like nothing. You really need one.
Seriously. The place is terrific. And nobody will make you bark like a dog. Unless you want them to.
Watching CNN this morning, I was finding myself crushing major on Dr. Sanjay Gupta. And, considering my track record with crushes on newsmen who I later discover are gay, I immediately googled him. According to nndb, he is straight! Not that it matters-- I'm married anyway, and I still love Shep and Coop, but what I'm saying is *I* am not only attracted to gay men! Which makes me feel better about life in general, if you know what I mean.
