I heart the worldwide interweb

Because of my recent blog post about Gi Boooonchen and her womanly perkiness, h sent me a tip about bras. See? The information superhighway is finally being used for the important stuff. I love it.

h says get a Wacoal bra for maximum perk, and she sent these pictures. I'm liking the black one. It is called "The Lost in Lace Contour Bra."


Sigh.. I want to be lost in lace, too.

So I went to the Wacoal-Amercia website and found their store locator, which has you enter your zip code and defaults to finding a store within 75 miles of you. 75 miles! Most of these locator things default to 15 or 20 miles, but apparently Wacoal America is confident that you will travel thrice as far for their particular type of perk. My options for stores are Neiman Marcus, Nordstrom, Macy's, Lord and Taylor, Bloomingdales and Saks Fifth Ave.

Apparently I'm going to need a part time job to support my new bra habit.

But I will persevere.

I hereby pledge to endeavor a quest for this bra, set down my adventures in lyric poetry, and travel they countryside with my zither, recounting the tale.


Update (Part I of the Epic Saga):

Get a free fitting for a Wacoal Bra and Wacoal will donate $2 to the Susan G. Komen for the Cure breast cancer research and outreach programs. If you buy a bra, they donate another $2. And they'll give you a nifty Republic of Tea travel tin with Pink Lemonade green tea. Click here to find a fitting event near you.

I Heart Gi

Remember, Patriots fans: It is not (or no longer) acceptable to hate Gi because she is beautiful. She's with Tom, and he's with us. So by the transitive property, she's with us:

a=b; b=c; therefore a=c
Q.E.D.

It seems the gals at the Inside Track finally got the memo. Here is a complimentary article: "Tom and Gi and Baby Makes Three."

"The supermodel is holding the binky-sucking baby - quite expertly we might add - as Bridget’s nanny waits behind the wheel to take John home to mommy."

Now that I've gotten over my butt-hair-face-envy and adopted Gi as my BFF, do you suppose she'd tell me where she got that bra? She's looking especially perky in this picture, isn't she? The Gillian O'Malley ones I get at Target-- the elastic seems to throw in the towel within the first 20 minutes. Do you suppose SuperNonTiringElastic made from super-springy rubber harvested from sustainable rainforests in Australiasia is the "secret" in Victoria's Secret? (Is this the big blog-scoop I've been waiting for?)


Photos from Boston Herald Inside Track column, they credit flynetonline.com

Hey! Only I'm allowed to Pick on Tom!!

Now I'm mad. Click here.
(But read comments first.)

For some reason it won't let me link directly (dagnabbit), so you'll have to scroll down and choose the video about Tom entitled "Gosh, he's exciting." Warning: TMZ starts playing a list of videos as soon as you land on their site, while you're scrolling and looking for Tom Brady. Some of them are R rated and fuzzed out, so use caution.

Back in my day, we had no grotto at Philippe. We had casks of MSG behind the Jade Fountain. And we were grateful

I've been remiss in my blogging this week and didn't fill you in on an IMPORTANT story:

Brady and the Fembot caught on tape doing the nasty in a restaurant: Tommy Boy and Bunchabones were out in NYC at Chinese restaurant "Phillippe" (??!! Which is right next to Goldstein's Mexican Cantina?) and apparently they slipped off to the private wine cellar for some monkey love. And there's a camera in there, and well... The busboys have now seen ALL of Brady's moves.
This story perplexed me greatly. Don't they have access to expensively decorated apartments and glitzy hotels? They've gotta go to a restaurant to get it on? Then I realized: they're underwear models (yup, him too, he's taking it off for Calvin Klein), and everyone knows that underwear models CAN'T EAT. It's like that movie The Truth About Cats and Dogs, where Uma Thurman's character confesses that she likes to order in restaurants but she doesn't actually eat. They're like that. Imagine. What if they're like secret, repressed foodies, reading the menu, salivating, yearning for the Velvet Spring Rolls and Jade Dumplings...mmm. You know you want some. Here -- wait. Do what I'm doing. Open up another window and put Philippe's website music on in the background. (Click here.) Did you do it? All set? You're back? Are you comfy? Okay.. Mmmm... That Vegetarian Flat Noodle looks like it would be good. Okay. Maybe flat noodle isn't exciting. I'm just getting warmed up. Stay with me. Ooooooooooh. Mr. Cheng's Handmade Noodles in a Veal Bean Sauce. Mmmmm. That's what I'M talkin' about. Mmmm. I just love me some Bok Choi. Let's do it baby. Let's have some Drunken Sea Bass, I'll try your Crispy Duck, you try my Oyster Sauce, and we'll finish it up with a little Three Within. See what I'm sayin' baby? What I want isn't on the menu. Chef Chow's cream sauce may be famous, and... yum! It really is velvety! Wow. Did you try that?! Oh, you gotta, it's so good! No... wait. Ahem. Let me swallow, and wipe that off. Okay. Here we go: But it's not the cream sauce I want. Except maybe just one more bite. Okay. Now I'm done. Just. Do they have toothpicks? Okay. I'm sayin-- let me sway to the music here. Get into it. Really. Okay: I wanna have fun. You know, babe? I wanna... Wang Chung. Let's slip off to that wine grotto... for a little Kung Pao...Biatch.

Okay. I think I get it now.

Update

Happy Birthday Alicia
(See comment below)