Friday, February 1, 2008

Democrats feel the love

Everyone's talking about how civilized the debates were last night, but there was an undercurrent. While they were apparently hugging each other, Barry and Hill were kidney punching. And in the end, when Wolfie Blitzer asked if they could put their differences aside and form a dream ticket, and Barack mentioned his cabinet-- that wasn't a "yes" Wolf. That was a "I'm gonna make her Under Secretary of Screeching Harridan Who Has to Do Crap Nobody Else Wants to Do, Wolf." Don't be fooled. I don't see the ticket. Or if Hill does get the nod and invites Barack to be her running mate-- well, remember that rumor that after Bill's inauguration, Hillary wanted to take the Veep office and banish Gore to a coat closet out back somewhere? That'd be Barack-- trying to cram his desk into the under-butler's pantry while Hill gives the Veep office to Chelsea. That's my prediction.

Oh, okay, maybe not. But I think they don't like each other. For real. But on the surface, they were smiling.

Wonkette liveblogged the debate. Some funny lines:

9:11 — 9:11! And ooh, that’s James “Pierce Bond” Brosnan in the crowd! James Bond should run for president, since it’s 9:11.
9:12 — I hate it when a question’s so bad that Hillary can use that [expletive removed] canned answer: “It took a Clinton to clean up after the first Bush White House, it’ll take a Clinton to clean up the second” (almost verbatim). At least if John McCain’s president, he’ll pass some pinko liberal campaign reform bill to ban that phrase.
9:13 — [LOUDEST APPLAUSE IN AMERICAN HISTORY AT HILLARY’S DUMB [expletive removed] RESPONSE THAT 2 CLINTONS AND 2 BUSHES CANCEL EACH OTHER OUT SO IT’S LIKE GEORGE W. BUSH NEVER HAPPENED].
9:16 — Hillary: I hate Iraq! We’ll be out of there in five seconds, one sweep o’ the ol’ Clinton Oval Office pen.
9:17 — It’s just the contingencies with Irq, the contingencies. Contingencies tend to turn out “Republican-favoring.”
9:18 — Also, I stole that Oval Office pen from the White House in 2001, like with the couches. It all needs to go back home, right? Vote Hillary!
9:21 — Barack: I didn’t have a say in the vote to go to Iraq, but I’ll make a decision about the future, after I smoke this b*tch.
9:22 — WOLF! Ha ha, he just told Hillary “THAT IS A CLEAR SWIPE AT YOU.” That’s not an exaggeration, one loose preposition at most.
9:23 — Hillary cries inside, but it’s probably fake.
9:24 — Hillary: Barack may have voted for some arbitrary spending boost to prevent the troops in Anbar province from starving, forever. Now how can he say he opposed the decision to declare war?
9:27 — Disclosure: I don’t watch much of the debate, I’m too busy typing. The two times I’ve looked up, I’ve seen Pierce Brosnan and Jason Alexander. Point is: I keep hearing this old cranky First Lady sounding voice, 15 minutes non-stop. Did she win the election?
9:29 — Did anyone notice that Barack “The Most Liberal Senator In Luo Tribe Land” Obama is wearing a purple tie, like the gays? John McCain is furiously scribbling “FAG” in his diary, for talking points he’ll need later.

They're edgy over at Wonkette.

Gotta start making the buffet for Sunday! Go Pats!!

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