My Own Socio-Political Couch Experiment! Yippee!

I've shut out politics for the last few years. But Tom Brokaw shook me the other day when in a TV interview he urged, [gravelly voice] "This next election is probably the most important in our lifetimes. Whatever your political view, you owe it to yourself and your countrymen to get involved." Sigh. Ooooo-kay.

Step number one: I watched the Republican YouTube debate last night. I purposely did no googling of backgrounds, and watched no post-debate spin so I'd be able to blog my raw, uninformed, Average-Woman-on-the-Couch impressions-- my own little socio-political experiment! I'll do it with the Dems, too, and then we can track how it all changes moving forward!!! I can do charts and graphs and.. Exciting, ain't it?

Alright-- on to my first impressions:

The CNN/YouTube Unholy alliance: 5000 video questions submitted by people from the internet and only 20 or so are going to air-- so you know the folks who got picked would have to do some wacky shit. It seemed disrespectful at first-- very different from the anchorman/blowhard-fests to which we are accustomed. But I warmed to it real fast-- great to see the mighty men have to deal with the off-the-wall. My favorite question was from the young guy on the rifle range who asked about the Right to Bear Arms, cocked his gun, and said into the camera, "You can answer any way you want..."

Anderson Cooper: still dapper and cute as a button. (Did I ever mention that he's Gloria Vanderbilt's son? Still waiting for that jello wrestling match with Shep Smith, Anderson! Wink! Call me!)

Candidates, going left to right on the stage:

Tancredo (to Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer song): "Ma-ma-ma-Mike Tancredo, has a very funny nose." Okay, so I just cheated and googled to find out his real first name. It's Tom. Not a big impression. Well, except for the nose part. That WAS big.

Huckabee: Charismatic. Has a theology degree, seems to know his Bible, but doesn't seem to thump it. He gave the impression of having strong convictions but also tolerance. Plus he's got that Jared-from-Subway, I-lost-a-ton-of-ugly-fat thing going on. Fatties unite.

Romney: I did have an impression of Mitt going in, I thought he was cool, calm and had Presidential hair. That was smashed last night. (Not the hair, the impression.) He was slick, wily and evasive. In the words of Elmer Fudd, "I don't twust him."

9iu11iani: (I saw his name spelled with the embedded 9-11 on a blog somewhere, and liked it.) I really disliked him going into the debate, but he scored points with me last night. He's got some charisma, despite his Sylvester-the-Puddy-Tat delivery. And he didn't seem as nuts as I had previously thought. He's also got a sense of humor, which, you know, he'd have to, since at any moment you expect him to break out with "Thufferin' Thuccotash!"

Fred Thompson: Ol' Fred scored points with me, too... but pretty much all he had to do to score points was not be dead. He didn't do any Papelbon jigs, but he did have a pulse. Way to go, Fred Ol' Buddy! Keep breathin'!

McCain: I had seen a YouTube video a while back, of a 12-year-old kid doing a McCain impression, and he had his little cheeks all stuffed and kept saying, "Call me Walnuts!" (Sometimes it's better to go into these things with no prior impressions.) So when I got over my immature giggling at the sight of Senator McCain, I realized that on the stage last night, this was the guy with the most Gravitas. He was the most Presidential... even if he hasn't convinced me that his vision is the right one.

Ron Paul: I like some of the stuff he says, I don't like his delivery. He comes off squirrely, a la Ross Perot. Dana Carvey's gonna have a field day. Plus, it seems the others on the stage aren't taking him seriously. It will be interesting to see if his surge continues and if he can be coached in Gravitas. I love that word. It's like onomatapoeia. You know what it is just by hearing it. Bees Buzzing. Bacon Sizzling. Presidential GRAVITAS. (The bolded caps and italics are supposed to make you hear it in a James Earl Jones voice. THIS IS CNN.)

Duncan Hunter: likes to talk about hunting, a built in mnemonic device. Coincidence? I THINK NOT! (For those of you slow on the uptake, that was James Earl Jones again.) Also, Hunter doesn't have as funny a nose as Tancredo. Built a bridge. Or a fence. Or two fences, with a nice road in between. And a shrubbery.

That's all I've got for now. I'm off to stock up on Huckabee Protein Shakes, Fred Thompson VeetaVitaVegimin, and Romeny Hair Gel. I'll catch ya after the next Hillary event...