Oh for Pete's sake. You know, "not that there's anything wrong with it," but why do all my favorite broadcasters wind up being gay?Surfing this morning, I came across a whisper here and a rumor there, and it all pointed to this--"From Out, out damn celebs!" by Kevin Naff, editor Washington Blade, Oct. 21, 2005:
"[Anderson] Cooper isn’t the only well-known TV personality hiding his sexual orientation. Shepard Smith, who hosts a popular program on Fox News and received widespread praise for his work covering Hurricane Katrina’s aftermath, also dodges questions about his sexual orientation.I knew nothing about this when I was calling for a Coop/Shep jello wrestle!
Smith once chatted me up in a New York City gay piano bar, bought me drinks, and invited me back to his place. When I declined, he asked me to dinner the next night, another invitation I politely refused.
We sat at the bar chatting and drinking martinis until 3 a.m., our conversation interrupted only when he paused to belt out the lyrics to whatever showtune was being performed. "
Okay, okay, I can handle this. I love showtunes, and besides, what do I expect? Newcasters are kind of effete, anyhow. No need to hyperventilate. In the immortal words of Billy Joel, "It's just a fantasy. Wo oh oh oh. It's not the real thing."
But listen up, Alton Brown of the Food Network-- you're my last hope. In terms you can understand: skip the sausage, bucko.
9 comments:
That's what you get for wasting your brain watching Fox News, bitch.... and O'Reilly is a homo, too.
See? you say, "mind your own reality, don't mangle mine" but in fact by minding their own, they are mangling yours...wasn't it eleanor who said "no one can mangle your reality without your permission"? perhaps they just need a good spankin.
The Gay Guys are taking over the world. Mark my word. Straight women are doomed to being lonely and poorly dressed.
Shephard did a GREAT job covering Hurricane Katrina. What does Duane know?
h: "Straight women are doomed to being lonely and poorly dressed." LOL. But at least we'll finally be able to do away with stiletto heels and foundation garments.
Foundation garments. I have to say this is a term that has always confused me. In high school I worked in the men's dept. of a department store in Connecticut. The deprtment next to me answered their phone " Hello, girdles and handbags." Despite this odd product mix,I think they sold foundation garments, but I've never been sure exactly of the range of products for sale! Does Home Depot offer such things?
MrConfused: a common query. Foundation Garments turn your rubble into a Brick House. But not without sweat and toil.
BTW, there's a play on words to be had in there--"Girdles and Handbags," but it's just out of my reach.
TV "reporters" were most likely theater majors in college.
Choolie,
I think I know why stilettos were invented. One, they make our calves look thinner. Two, we have to swerve our hips and wiggle our ass to stay balanced while we're walking and Three, we can't run away from the guys who haunt and taunt us.
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