I'm going to blow up the Earth. It obstructs my view of Venus.James Glavin owns property on Martha's Vineyard, on which used to stand 10 mature oak trees. Which he loved. But his neighbors, the Eckmans, didn't love the trees. Those trees blocked their view of the ocean. So they asked Glavin if they could cut down his trees. He said "no." Five years later, they got a tree contractor to cut them down anyway.
Outrageous? Yes! So a jury awarded Glavin 90 grand, which represents treble damages -- they figured it would cost 30 grand to replace the trees -- although, you can't really just replace 10 mature oaks.
During the course of litigation, the Eckmans came up with a strange defense, that they asked another neighbor (who didn't own the trees), and that neighbor gave permission. Honest mistake. We were confused! But that's strange, since they had already asked Glavin. Hmmmmm... So Glavin said his main goal of the suit was to get the neighbors to admit they did it on purpose. But they won't.
Whaddya think? I can imagine the frustration of the Eckmans. But holy smokes. Talk radio yesterday painted them in a veddy bad light indeed-- entitled interlopers from Sherborn who don't think the rules apply to them. It's easy to get on that bandwagon. After all, they're in the wrong. But then I started to imagine what it would be like to really want that view-- if only it weren't for those trees. Please? Pretty please? How about just 5 trees? Three? Pretty please with sugar and a cherry on top?
"Nope."Okay, Mr. Glavin, sir, but while we're negotiating, would you consider moving your 220-cubic-foot "organic" compost heap to not be within 15 feet of our cocktail deck?
"Nope."
Um. Would you think about taking down, say, uh, 15 of your copious-but-darling lawn gnomes? Or 5 of your gazing globes? Or just 12, 50% of your glorious pink flamingos--for the love of heaven?
"Nope. Nope. Nope."
Okay, I've got no proof he's got gnomes or globes or flamingos or organic compost (although I harbor strong suspicions about the gnomes.) But look at him. You just know he's going to use that 90 grand to build a Turret of Spite. Or possibly a Windmill of Spite. A Windmill of Spite, that will cause the Highly Directed Breeze of Spite-- which will blow across the Organic Compost Heap of Spite right onto the Eckman's Ornate Tuscan Terrace.
Or maybe that's not what he would do.. maybe it's what I would do.
Boston Herald article here.
* "Easier to ask forgiveness" quote attribution: Grace Hopper, computer scientist (her wikipedia entry here, if you're as nerdy as I.)
