Uhh..

(never mind.)

The reason I'll be watching Survivor: China this season

James
Age: 30
Home Town: Lafayette, LA
Occupation: Gravedigger

To quote Susan Sarandon's character in Bull Durham:
"Oh, my..."

And now, your moment of Zen

MrFriendOfMonkeyMoss took this picture of signage in Japan. (What do you suppose AFO stands for?)

Sure, we went to the moon.. but what has America done LATELY?

While we're hanging out on our couches watching American Idol and eating cheesy poofs, the Japanese are creating See-Through Animals. Hey, Youth Of America! Wake up and smell the Science!

Shhhh....

Thanks for posting that website on your blog, Charles.

Jiminy Glick

Yesterday I posted a video with Bill O'Reilly and Jeremy Glick, confounding MrEasilyConfusedMoss, as he was thinking of Jiminy Glick. Although they look alike, they are not the same man. Take your Ginkgo Biloba, MrMoss!



Here's another-- Jiminy Glick interviewing CNN's Anderson Cooper. It's not as funny as the above video, because Anderson basically giggles through the whole thing, but I just LOVE it, because I think Anderson is cute as a button! When his show was up against Fox News' Shepard Smith in the ratings, I always thought the two of them should just battle it out in a vat of jello. Or maybe warm chocolate pudding. Mmmmmm. But anyway, who knew Anderson Cooper was Gloria Vanderbilt's son? No wonder he's so natty! Loooooove him.

Colonel Samuel Willard

From The Military Annals Of Lancaster, Massachusetts by
Henry Stedman Nourse, pub 1889

The cutoff paragraph continues "...the Court of Common Pleas for nearly ten years. Three of his sons following in paternal footsteps early showed marked taste for military life, and each attained the rank of colonel."

Speaking of the colonel's sons, here's a piece about Abijah. Excerpt from History of the Town of Lancaster, Massachusetts by the Rev. A.P. Marvin, published 1879:

On the morning of the 19th of April 1775, Abijah Willard of Lancaster, the largest town in Worcester County, Massachusetts placed seeds in his saddle-bags, mounted his horse and headed for his farm in Beverly, to spend a few days, supervising the planting and sowing of the crops on the farm that he had recently purchased for £2,756.

Before reaching Concord, it is supposed, he learned that the British troops were drawing near.

His heart was divided between his sovereign and his country. A decision had to be made. He chose the Loyalist side, and in so doing gave up his home in Lancaster, which he never saw again.

Col. Abijah Willard was a man of character and influence and was greatly respected by his fellow citizens. He was considered to be the wealthiest citizen of Lancaster, Massachusetts. He kept six horses in his stables and dispensed liberal hospitality in the mansion inherited from his father, Colonel Samuel Willard.

For his first wife, he married Elizabeth, sister of Colonel William Prescott; for his second wife, Mrs. Anna Prentice and a third partner was Mrs. Mary McKown of Boston.

He was no stranger to war as he commanded a company under his father in 1745 at the capture of Louisburg and led a company under Col. Monckton in 1755, at the reduction of the French forts in Nova Scotia. The Archives & Research Library of the New Brunswick Museum has a copy of "The Journal of Abijah Willard" edited by Dr. J. C. Webster.

An officer of so well-known skill and experience as Abijah Willard was deemed a valuable
acquisition and he was offered a colonel's commission in the British Army but refused to
serve against his countrymen. At the evacuation of Boston, he went to Halifax, Nova Scotia, having been joined by his own and his brother's family.

At the close of the war in 1783, he petitioned for and received a grant of land at Spruce Lake. He named the parish 'Lancaster' in remembrance of his beloved birthplace and here he died in May of 1789, having been an influential member of the New Brunswick provincial council.

His family returned to Lancaster, Massachusetts, recovered the old homestead and, aided by a small pension from the British government, lived in comparative prosperity. His son, Samuel Willard died on January 1, 1856 aged ninety-six years and four months. His widowed sister, Mrs. Anna Goodhue, died on August 2, 1858 at the age of ninety-five.

Bill.. Bill.. Bill..

I wasn't going to blog about this. It seems like schadenfreude. But Fox News' Bill O'Reilly is in the news right now for a gaffe, and as I looked into it more and more, I found all of this fascinating.

Bill went to dinner the other night with Rev. Al Sharpton at a famous restaurant in Harlem. The next day, Bill-O went on his radio show and gushed about how nice it was at the restaurant, that even though it was run by blacks with primarily black patrons, "it was like going into an Italian restaurant in an all-white suburb in the sense of people were sitting there, and they were ordering and having fun," he said. "And there wasn't any kind of craziness at all." He opined that white America doesn't know this, that white Americans who don't have a lot of interactions with black Americans "think the [black] culture is dominated by Twista, Ludacris and Snoop Dogg." He went on to explain that "There wasn't one person in Sylvia's who was screaming, `M.F.-er, I want more iced tea.'" (AP article)

So, many in the black community are calling this "velvet glove" racism, a backhanded compliment saying, "look how well behaved those black people are!" But as I'm reading it, I'm offended that he thinks white Americans are so ignorant! Did you imagine that Al Sharpton was going around demanding more M.F. iced tea?

So I started surfing YouTube a little, to see if I could get his remarks. I got distracted. I landed on this video (added to YouTube June 2006), which is unrelated, but riveting. On YouTube it's entitled "O'Reilly Gets His Ass Kicked by Donahue," which I had to see, because I just couldn't imagine it. Donahue always seemed so mild-mannered, Clark-Kent-ish:



Who was that Donahue mentioned? Jeremy Glick? Who's that? Then I ran across this (added to YouTube May 2007):



Anyhow, not trying to get into schadenfreude. That's just where the surf took me today. Back to work!

That's okay. I have my own celebrity chef. Chef Boyardee.

Guess where my beloved's going for a work outing tonight? I'll give you a hint. It's somewhere I've always wanted to go. With a celebrity chef I follow on TV but my husband wouldn't know if he tripped over. A place designed by a Feng Shui Master, with an open kitchen, 40-foot blue pearl granite counter, subtle recessed lighting, warm cherry woodwork and Italian granite floors. A place that probably has something delicious, like Hawaiian BigeyeTuna Poke with Crispy Sushi Rice Cake and Watercress-Tosaka Salad or Sake-Miso Marinated Alaskan Butterfish with Wasabi Oil, Soy-Lime Syrup and Vegetarian Soba Noodle Sushi...

Follow up: You see, Timmy...***

For those of you who were disappointed in the schadenfreude post-- that Timmy wasn't this Timmy. You can see Lassie's Timmy in November at The World of Pets Expo in West Springfield, MA!

*** "You see, Timmy" as explained by Michael Keaton in the movie Speechless (total paraphrase, but this is what he meant): the You See , Timmy is the essential lesson for the day, the moral of the story: "You see Timmy, young boys shouldn't keep mountain lions as pets. Mountain lions should be free. To roam mountains." Or "You see Timmy, drinking too much soy milk causes men's essential fluids to dry up, making them want to shop for duvet covers, or enroll in scrapbooking seminars."

I learned something new today!

schadenfreude - \SHOD-n-froy-duh\, noun:
A malicious satisfaction obtained from the misfortunes of others.

So I was surfing this morning, I mean, uh, performing research for an in-depth analysis of the links between soy milk and gayness. Somehow I wound up on this guy Timmy's blog-- Timmy from Haight-Ashbury, who claims at the top of his blog, "Yes, I am that Tim." So I was intrigued about what Timmy meant by "that Tim" --no, he's not the one with Lassie like I hoped-- but his post was kind of funny: "Soy Bean or Lez-Bean." Chortle.

Anyway, my new word discovery came from his listed interests: blondes, politics, wine, tea and schadenfreude.

(It's not what I thought it was.)

This is pretty cool!

AtomFilms.com: Funny Videos | Funny Cartoons | Comedy Central

I've had those days.

There but for the grace of God go I.

Shiver me timbers! It's Talk Like A Pirate Day

Important Missive from MrHardeeMoss:

September 19, A Holy Day

AAAAARGH me red headed wench! AAAARGH! tis yet 'nother Talk Like A Pirate Day ! AAAAARGH I urge ye to sciv ver yer jibbers an hoist yer petard and celebrate with grog and scurly activiteeees. AAArgh me matey AAAARGH!

And now to show us how (with this topical video), Cap'n Slappy. (If you aren't familiar with what Cap'n Slappy is spoofing, go here to Charles' blog. Warning: the videos on Chuck's blog use the F word, so keep the volume low. The first one- Britney- is the one currently being spoofed by everyone. The second-Bill- is infinitely clickable.)

Time Magazine Catches Up with The Economist

Time does their own piece on the candidates' spouses. My favorite tidbit: If Hillary wins, Bill wants to be known as the First Laddie.

Duuuuuuude. This guy's totally onto something.

Does *your* fuzzy puddy harbor a secret plan to turn you into a litter-scooping robot?

This just in: Mitt's favorite sugary cereal is Count Chocula

Film at eleven

Coffee Break Video of the Week

Amir and Streeter share an office at collegehumor.com. They're at war. Embedded below is the latest battle, Prank War 6.

War is hell. Only go back and follow these links if you have a lot of time and want to see the escalation. But catching you up so far:
Prank War 1: Streeter starts it. He splices a sex tape into Amir's favorite MP3.
Prank War 2: Amir poses as a girl on the 'Net, sets up a date with Streeter, and stands him up
Prank War 3: Streeter sets Amir up to make and send an audition tape for a non-existent role. Then he gets a conference room and plays the tape for the whole office.
Prank War 4: Amir secretly convinces the audience not to laugh for Streeter's stand up act. And to call him fat.
Prank War 5: Streeter gets Amir to fly to California for a fake audition, complete with real MTV guys.. an audition Amir is predestined to fail miserably. In the beginning of this video, Streeter says, "Good luck getting me back on this one."
Prank War 6: Amir's revenge (below.)

And now, continuing the war metaphor, you're about to see the Surge.
Warnings: They say the F word, so check that the coast is clear before playing. About six minutes long. You might wet yourself. Or be totally disgusted with humanity.

Will the Democrats Betray Us?

Frank Rich, OpEd columnist for the NYTimes, on General Petraeus, the Democrat candidates, and bread and circuses.

You need to sign in to view the article. Try username & password sodoff3/sodoff3. If that doesn't work, go to bugmenot.com for a different signon.

Thank you, MrCivicMindedMoss, for the article!

Derren Brown - My newest celebrity crush

This guy is amazing. According to wikipedia, he's a psychological illusionist. He goes around using Neurolinguistic Programming and brief hypnotic states to control his subjects and do cool tricks. He's really popular in England and has had a bunch of TV shows.

In this first video, he stops a guy on the street under the guise of asking directions, and gets the guy to willingly hand over his watch and house keys. The second video is an explanation of the trick, which is called The Russian Scam:



And the explanation (which is fascinating):



A big muchas gracias to Senor Moss for this!

OMG! Is Britney too flabby?

I was surfing through the Boston Herald's Inside Track, scanning an article titled "Is it fair to savage Britney's figure?" It seems folks are dissing Britney's outfit (or more accurately Britney's body in her outfit) in the recent Video Music Awards. I guess it was her big comeback (I didn't know she went away) after having a couple of kids or so. After her Sunday night performance, the Monday headline in the New York Post: "Lard and Clear." And E! Online commented, "The bulging belly she was flaunting was SO not hot."

Sigh.

In the spirit of sisterhood I really WANT to come to her defense, listing the myriad salient points to be made about women and body image, the brain as a sex organ, and how counter-productive it is --if you're trying to entice a female into removing her attire-- to scrutinize the body parts of others. Maybe some more points about Hollywood's Golden Age and the History of Sexy. Then I'd follow that by pointing out several enormously popular actresses who currently appear to have Avian Bone Syndrome, finally wrapping up with the fundamentally screwed-up, mixed messages sent by society at large.

But I find I just. Don't. Care.

Hey! I learned something new today!

And now I can quote Juvenal in the original Latin!

I was over on Charles' blog, and one of the comments on the Patriots blog posting asserted, "Our society worships the wrong things... distraction[s] like Bread and Circus." Huh? Isn't that like a whole foods market or somethin'? Hello, wikipedia?

Bread and Circuses refers to low-cost, low-quality, high-availability food and entertainment that have become the sole concern of the People, to the exclusion of matters that some consider more important: e.g. the Arts, public works projects, human rights, or democracy itself.

Umm.. you mean like Big Macs and Paris Hilton? Uh oh. It goes on:

This phrase originates in Satire X of the Roman poet Juvenal of the late 1st and early 2nd centuries. In context, the Latin phrase panem et circenses (bread and circuses) is given as the only remaining cares of a Roman populace which has given up its birthright of political freedom:

... Already long ago, from when we sold our vote to no man, the People have abdicated our duties; for the People who once upon a time handed out military command, high civil office, legions - everything, now restrains itself and anxiously hopes for just two things: bread and circuses

... iam pridem, ex quo suffragia nulli uendimus, effudit curas; nam qui dabat olim imperium, fasces, legiones, omnia, nunc se continet atque duas tantum res anxius optat, panem et circenses. ... (Juvenal, Satire 10.77-81)

I think I'll memorize that as a party trick! Buuuuurp.

Pearls Before Breakfast

I stole that title. It's from this Washington Post article that Hort sent me: Can one of the nation's great musicians cut through the fog of a D.C. rush hour? Let's find out.

Joshua Bell (that's him there on the left with his Stradivarius and leather pants) is the great musician. He posed as a street musician in a busy DC plaza in a Washington Post experiment to see if anyone would stop and smell the roses as it were. He's played Symphony Hall and the Library of Congress.. cheap seats to one of his shows cost 100 bucks. How much would he make street performing with his Stradivarius (made in 1710?) Terrific article, entertaining writing. (I hesitate to point out that the article is very long --sort of the point of the whole thing is that we should be stopping to enjoy terrific things and not worrying about how much time they take. But that being said... after sticking with the article til the payoff, I may have only scanned the second half...)

What is this life if, full of care,

We have no time to stand and stare.

-- from "Leisure," by W.H. Davies

How'd it turn out? Next break time, grab your tea or your coffee, turn off the ringer and read it!

PS One guy admitted that he walked right by the maestro and his 3.5 million dollar violin without noticing because he was listening to his iPod-- "Just Like Heaven" by The Cure. Granted, a pretty good song, but we all need to reevaluate our priorities. As if the world weren't impersonal enough. The iPod is going to make us completely antisocial! (...she writes, as she ignores the ringing phone to put the finishing touches on her blog.)

Rock me Amadeus!

08_Wo23-lfgang Ama...

Morning-After Grieg

Grieg - Peer Gynt...

101 To-dos in 1001 Days

Sir Hollis sent me to this website he likes. It proposes a challenge: complete 101 preset tasks in 1001 days. Hollis did not, however, send me his list of 101 preset tasks. Therefore, I propose that we all endeavor to set his task list for him. In the comments, please add to the list I've started below.

1.) Learn conversational esperanto.
2.) Attend a dogfight.
3.) Become proficient in French cookery.
4.) Start a jug band.

If "pro" is the opposite of "con", what's the opposite of "progress?"

Remember the old saying...

Tomayto Tomahto - Epilogue

I love summer tomatoes. I'm not usually the organic produce type--not because I don't value the concepts, but let's be real. Organic costs twice as much, and since I can't afford it, I prefer to stick my fingers in my ears, sing "la la la" and pretend that organic fruits and veggies can't really taste that much better. But, man oh man, I'd cross the desert and pay triple for locally grown tomatoes.

Our own 18 to-mater plants are still covered with green fruit. Hellooo?! Next year, none of this starting the seeds in March bologna. As soon as the Christmas tree comes down, up goes the plant nursery. We need strategy... logistics! The mozzarella and basil await!

Update Update Update (You read all of that a month ago-- Read down here.)
Here's a link to the Guy Clark song Moss quotes in the comments. Unfortunately, I can't seem to find a free player that has the entire song, but here's a sample. The song sounds like homegrown tomatoes taste, don't it?

I think Guy gets it. (The tomato thing I mean. I have no idea about the other thing.)

Flashback

Still true? Discuss.

President Freddie?

His real name is Freddie. It's on his birth certificate.

I know, it's very immature of me to point this out ( but you expected mature after the post of Hillary with stainless steel claws on her thighs?) You have to admit, "Freddie" does lack a certain---gravitas. And it makes me giggle. Freddie will handle the situation. Freddie's gonna kick some ass. Freddie's got his finger on the button.

"This business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we'll be lucky to live through it." - Freddie Thompson as Admiral Painter, The Hunt for Red October

Start your Christmas Shopping Early!

The Hillary Nutcracker! Only $19.95!

Bartender! More Grieg!

I like this one, too!

In the Hall of the...

Caveat Charger!

We found a fraudulent charge on our most recent credit card statement. In mid-July a $29.99 charge listed as "VIP Tunes Limassol CYP" was put on our account. We didn't recognize the company, so I googled it, and sure enough I found hundreds of postings from people who got the same charge in the same time period. Check your statements! Boil water! Tape the windows! Warn others!

Uh-oh!

George Packer writes in The New Yorker (August 31):

If there were a threat level on the possibility of war with Iran, it might have just gone up to orange. Barnett Rubin, the highly respected Afghanistan expert at New York University, has written an account of a conversation with a friend who has connections to someone at a neoconservative institution in Washington. Rubin can’t confirm his friend’s story; neither can I. But it’s worth a heads-up:

They [the source’s institution] have “instructions” (yes, that was the word used) from the Office of the Vice-President to roll out a campaign for war with Iran in the week after Labor Day; it will be coordinated with the American Enterprise Institute, the Wall Street Journal, the Weekly Standard, Commentary, Fox, and the usual suspects. It will be heavy sustained assault on the airwaves, designed to knock public sentiment into a position from which a war can be maintained. Evidently they don’t think they’ll ever get majority support for this—they want something like 35-40 percent support, which in their book is “plenty.”

Full Story in The New Yorker

Can this possibly be?

For a longer but interesting read, click on the word "account" in the first paragraph above.

Uncle Moss Wants You!

Striking resemblance!

I love this piece of music

I heard it on WCRB today and had to find out what it was. Does anyone know how to pronounce the composer's name? Is it "Greg" or "Greeg?" (Am I showing my ignorance of classical music there?)

Grieg - Lyric Piece, Op65, No.6, "Wedding Day at Troldhaugen"

Grieg - Lyric Piec...

This just in. It's "Greeg."