You hungry?

This made me laugh so hard milk came out my nose. And I wasn't even drinking milk at the time.

People sometimes ask what it was like working for Charles. It was just like this.

Gopher Choolie...

But aren't they gonna be pissed when they find out we've had HD-TV for years?

Uncontacted tribe sighted in Amazon. Click here.

I'm so Green! And Smug! And my clothes are stiff as a board!

Photo: Sara Remington for the NYTimes.

We're finally wind and solar powered here at the Mind Your Own Reality Commune: I started hangin' out the laundry. Yeehah. Carbon footprint: shrinking. And we're composting and growing our own vegetables, and keeping bees and..

I just had a flash-- I've been getting them lately-- well, not that kind, although I get those, too, like someone just cranked up your internal pizza oven to "crispy." What is up with that? Is it not bad enough to get grey hairs and fine wrinkles and 7 pounds around the middle? Must we sweat like linebackers, too? But anyway, the other kind of flash-- the one where I rise up out of my body, look back at myself, and see my mother in the 1970s. The only things I'm missing are I don't make my own clothes (but I wish Mom were still here to teach me how), and I don't have one of those Another Mother For Peace pendant necklaces like Mom did:

Oh yeah, and my Mom wasn't smug... But other than that, pretty close. So I tell you what-- I'm gonna be another mutha and get me one of them there necklaces. (Then I'll be smug and fashionable.)

What was it that crazy French guy said on Cheers once? "Plus ca change, plus c'est le meme chose."

"The more things change, the more they stay the same."

(Smug, fashionable and pseudo-intellectual.. hmmm. Maybe not like Mom at all. Maybe more like Cliff Clavin.)

Oh yeah, the point of this whole thing-- did you know they have ordinances against clotheslines in some communities? I guess folks are too fragile to see the dainties of others flapping in the breeze. Ain't we precious?

If you need help exercising your right to dry: go here.





June 10 Update: Heat wave...4 days of 95 degrees. Screw global warming. And smugness. I'm turning on my AC. Carbon footprint - EXPANDING. Oh, well..

That explains it

Your Assignment

Give me five sentences about something that happened to you in the past two weeks, each sentence containing at least two adjectives and one adverb. Extra points if your story has a moral or ends with a pithy maxim.

Note: With the exception of the pithy maxim part (which I added solely because I like the phrase "pithy maxim,") this assignment is stolen from my daughter's second grade homework. I'll go first:

The deli boy quickly convinced me to buy the delicious Welsh cheddar. Although I had never tried it before, his ardent enthusiasm and boyish charm overwhelmed my skepticism. After all, who would expect a wide-eyed, gangly, eighteen-year-old grocery clerk to have a strong opinion of imported dairy products? Not I; I prejudiciously presumed that his youthful expertise would pertain only to fast food burgers and sugary colas. It just goes to show: you should never judge a grocery clerk by his cover and why buy the mystery cheese when you get the advice for free?